


28. Cathartic Shower

by love_write_edit_sleep



Series: Magnetization Of A Family (DBH 31 Fic Challenge) [28]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Family, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-24 02:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15620211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_write_edit_sleep/pseuds/love_write_edit_sleep
Summary: Connor didn’t need to shower, but Hank once told him it was easier to cry in the shower. So that’s why he decided to shower.





	28. Cathartic Shower

**Author's Note:**

> I MADE AN EDIT OF CONNOR AND MATTHEW ON MY INSTAGRAM:  
> https://www.instagram.com/p/BmO3WF0DdIF/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
> 
> Also, I only have 3 fics left to do? Should I do another series after?

_ The day after Sumo died, Hank took a shower.  _

_ It was a long shower, and it was a Thursday. Hank only showered for approximately 4 minutes 25 seconds on a Sunday or a Wednesday, or if he was covered in something from a crime scene. _

_ When Connor asked about it, Hank sighed. _

_ “Sometimes, things get too much, and we gotta cry about it, and sometimes, doing it in the shower helps. Okay? Get off my back.” _

Now Connor sat in his room, his knees drawn to his chest, trembling as he watched Daniel swimming around in his bowl. He could see his red LED reflecting in the bowl. His throat hurt from where he was trying to hold back his tears, and his chest ached at how fast his Thirium pump was pumping. 

**_I’m sorry but we cannot do this anymore…_ **

The message was all typed in Connor’s head, ready to send, but no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t. He erased the message and rewrote it.

**_I’m breaking up with you. I’m sorry, but it’s in both of our best interests._ **

He couldn’t send that either. His eyes burned as he erased the message again. 

Eventually, he gave up, and headed to the bathroom, creeping so Hank wouldn’t hear him. He gently pulled the door closed and climbed into the shower, fully clothed, and turned the water on. 

As soon as the first drop hit his artificial skin, Connor began to cry.

* * *

Hank furled his brows in confusion when he heard the shower running.

Connor never showered. Hank should know, he’d forced the kid in there several times after a particularly messy case, but they’d just sifted through paperwork. Connor didn’t need to shower.

“Connor?” Hank called, turning to face the bathroom door.

_ “Yes, Hank?” _

“You okay?”

_ “Yes, Hank.” _

“Okay…” Hank turned back to the TV, stroking the puppy on his lap. He frowned for a moment, turning back to the bathroom door. “Ah, fuck it, sorry, Skulker. I’ll be back.” He whispered, using one hand to move the tiny-ass puppy aside. 

A dog should not be that fucking small.

Hank stood and made his way to the bathroom door, raising his hand to knock on it. He froze, his hand in mid-air when he heard a choked sob behind noise of the shower. 

“Oh, Connor…”

Hank knocked on the door, startled slightly when the door opened slightly.

“Connor, I’m gonna come in, okay?”

_ “I don’t want you to.” _

“Yeah, well, I don’t wanna leave you all upset and shit.” Hank retorted. “And what about your stress levels, huh? Someone’s gotta be there to stop you smashing your face in.”

It was silent for a moment.

“Okay.”

Hank wasted no time pushing the door open, his eyes falling on Connor’s huddled figure in the tub.

“Hey, Kid.” Hank forced a smile, climbing into the tub opposite Connor. Connor blinked.

“Hank, your clothes-”

“They needed washing anyway.” Hank shrugged. “What’s bugging you?”

“Hank… Do you remember the night Sumo was hit by the car?” Connor asked. Hank nodded.

“Yeah, you had a meltdown. Is that what’s happening?”

“Yes.” Connor pulled his knees to his chest. “I’m… I’m scared.”

“Talk to me.” Hank leaned forward.

“I’m trying to better manage my time with you and Matthew, but I’ve reached a point where I can’t spend time with either of you without feeling guilty about not spending my time with the other.” Connor whispered. “When I am with you, I feel guilty for not being with Matthew, but when I am with Matthew, I feel guilty about not being with you.”

“Connor-”

“And then I started thinking… What if I lose one of you? Or both of you? I-I don’t think I could emotionally handle the pain…” Connor choked. “But then I start questioning my place in this family again, and then I question Matthew, and I can’t stop thinking that everything would be easier if I just self-destructed-”

“Fuck! Connor!” Hank pulled the android into his arms and he started to sob, clinging to Hank’s shirt. “Jesus, Connor, you gotta tell me this shit!”

“I-I’m sorry…” Connor sobbed. “I-I wanted to tell you, but then I feared Matthew would get mad that I didn’t tell him first, but then the same thought occurs for you and I get trapped and it hurts and I can’t breathe…”

“Okay, I got you, kid, just focus on breathing right now, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Don’t you fucking self-destruct on us…” Hank whispered, pressing a soft kiss atop Connor’s soaked hair. “Don’t you go doing that.”

“I don’t want to hurt either of you…” Connor choked back a sob. “I don’t want to lose either of you and I know the only way out of this is to let go of Matthew-”

“Don’t you fucking dare, you hear me, Connor? That is not the way out of this.” Hank pulled the android away. “You haven’t already-”

“No. I tried but I failed.”

“Don’t.” Hank pulled Connor back with a sigh. “There’s nothing wrong with Matthew. I love him, he’s a good kid, and I’m glad you’re both happy after all the shit you’ve been through. Don’t let go of that, okay? Don’t you dare let him go.”

“But-”

“Connor, don’t you let that kid go, you hear me?” Hank whispered. “Don’t fuck up something that doesn’t need fucking up.”

“It is hurting you.” Connor whimpered. 

“What? What gave you that idea?”

“Gavin told me you said you were losing me to Matthew.”

“Fucking Gavin, last time I ever talk to him.” Hank muttered. “It’s not hurting me, Connor. I’m glad you’re happy. I just… We just lost Sumo, and after losing Cole… I’m scared of losing people. You know that.”

“I don’t want you to be scared of losing me.”

“Well, that’s built in, Connor. Came with the adoption papers.” Hank joked.

“If I ended my relationship with Matthew, you wouldn’t have to worry about that.”

“Kid, get it out of your head that you and Matthew are hurting me. You think breaking up with him is gonna make me happy? Fuck you, Connor. I’m happy that you’re happy, and Matthew’s a charming android.”

“Then what do I do?”

“We’ll call Matthew, invite him over, explain what’s going on in that little head of yours, and then we’ll sort it out.”

* * *

That’s exactly what they did.

An hour later found Connor, Hank and Matthew at the table, Connor explaining how he felt to both Hank and Matthew.

“I don’t know how to proceed…” Connor whispered. Matthew looked down guiltily.

“I am sorry, Mr Anderson, I did not intend to-”

“Don’t you apologise, kid.” Hank cut his off. “He loves us both, he just doesn’t know how to show that.”

“Connor should not have to worry about such things in a relationship.” Matthew whispered. “He should be happy.”

“He was happy.” Hank turned to Connor. “You were happy with Matthew and me a while back. What changed?”

“I don’t know…” Connor sighed, burying his face in his hands.

“Look, let’s do this: You and Matthew can do whatever, write down on the calendar what dates and stuff you got going on. Some stuff we can do as the three of us, some stuff you can do alone, whatever you want. We can arrange stuff around that, Connor. How does that sound?”

“That might work. That way, we are all aware of all of our plans, and you can track the time you are spending with us.” Matthew turned to Connor, who’s LED was spinning yellow in consideration.

“I’d like to try that.” Connor muttered eventually.

“Perfect.” Hank smiled, standing. “Right, that’s done. I think this calls for a movie night. Matthew, you staying?”

“If that is alright with you?”

“Of course it is, kid.” Hank ruffled Matthew’s hair playfully before heading into the living room, Connor and Matthew following. “Any requests?”

“Finding Dory.” Connor and Matthew spoke at the same time, blushing as they did so.

“Fucking saps.” Hank chuckled.

He suddenly found himself staring at the two androids, who both looked at him with that lost-puppy expression. Hank couldn’t help himself, he threw his arms around the two, holding them close.

“I love you both, my boys, and don’t you ever fucking forget that.”

“I love you too, Hank.”

“Thank you, Mr Anderson.”

“For Heaven’s sake, kid, call me Hank.” Hank chuckled as he pulled away. He noticed both androids LED’s were green.

“Okay, Mr Hank.”

“Connor.” Hank wrapped his arm around Matthew’s shoulders and smirked at Connor. “Never let him go, got it?” Connor beamed.

“Got it.”


End file.
